Written on May 23rd, 2020
I spoke to a friend the other day about an important decision that I have to make within the upcoming months. The content of our conversation made me reflect on our inaptitude, as humans, to make hard decisions and learn how to move on.
It is often said that the strength of our character is revealed through facing tough choices, particularly in situations where there is a considerable amount of emotional involvement. Whether we are talking about the time that we invest in someone, an organization or a personal venture, every second we dedicate to those relations come with a price to pay. There are the obvious implications in monetary value; nevertheless, we tend to overlook another costly aspect which is: attachment. I compare the feeling of attachment to a contract clause, that we are all aware of but never read, typed in microscopic letters at the bottom of our agreement sheet. It’s in there, and there’s no way around it (whether we like it or not)! However, a salesperson would never put that at the forefront of their pitch since its precariousness could lead to a non-closure. To me, attachment is a scary but important part of our human interactions. Despite its high interest rate, it remains an inevitable by-product of our love-based commitments. The more we love, the more we want to nourish the continuation of our experience, and the more emotional debts we accumulate. And when the love stops, we are caught between the choices of renegotiation or departure. If all the contracts were free of interest, with zero risks and no cancellation penalties, then long-term commitments of any sort would probably be very seldom. So, in a sense, I would like to thank attachment for what it has produced because I believe there is beauty and fulfillment in experiencing longevity. The problem is when we are attached for a durable and quality period of time, the act of detachment always seems too abrupt to be taken into consideration. I understand that even the well-written scripts must come to an end. But why can’t all of them, like Marvel movies, provide us an extra scene after the credits? If all the endings that I am experiencing with the different entities around me happened in that manner, then I would always be looking at making crucial choices in a more positive light. But if I think more thoroughly, I would probably be stuck with the problem of making the same decision over and over…the decision of being partially detached.